Putting Things into Perspective

Sunday 9 September 2007

Matthew Mourning sent me this email last April while he was finishing up Social Justice. This evening we chatted on the phone and he is having an intense, eye-opening time in graduate school in New Orleans.

Dear Dr. Chmiel:

I struggle to find words to talk of how profoundly The Book of Mev has affected me. In truth, I had not read it–save for the parts discussed in class–until just about an hour ago when I turned the last page, mere hours after I first checked it out from the library.

I wanted to thank you for letting me in on the gift that Mev was, is, to you. Never before has something so deeply personal been shared with me. I honestly feel the pain of her loss so nearly; her story has made me contemplate deeply about the future direction of my own life, my own mission.

I feel stupid, fatalistic, and undedicated now when I suggest that my dream trip to Rio’s favelas is doomed to my pocketbook’s backburner.

I now feel limited, discriminatory, myopic when my heart overflows for American poverty only. Ah, yes, contingency.

I feel a foolish and passive dreamer with my tireless cause for America’s cities, and particularly St. Louis, for which I have not displayed even a comparative shrivel of the fortitude, perseverance, and drive that Mev did with all of her undertakings.

Worst of all, I feel a depression setting on for all the missed opportunities in my life to have loved myself, to have challenged myself, to have pushed myself. Of course, Mev’s story should not leave one solely depressed, but her strength (and yours) seem an impossible standard to live up to for someone who has lived as sheltered and as pessimistic a life as I.

There is no true purpose of this correspondence. It is logic-less. It is just the flow of a mind dizzy and weary. I just feel so shiftless right now, swept up in the upcoming transition in my life–and The Book of Mev helped me put things into perspective.

There is so much more to say about this beautiful work. I feel as if, having read it, we’re lifelong friends–thus the random and spontaneous email. The suffering and the hope in it seem so palpable to me for some reason. Maybe we shall save further discussion for some Coffee Cartel chats. I sure hope so. Thanks for inviting me into yours and Mev’s life.

Sincerely,

Matthew Mourning