Upon Finishing The Book of Mev

by Sandra Tamari

Am I deserving of that kind of love?

Would she have been my friend?

Would she have had kids by now?

What happened to the cats?

Waiting for Jad’s Tae Kwon Do

to let out

Tired suburban parents yawn

and comment about all they need to do for Christmas

rather than all they need to do for Christ

12-foot plastic trees don’t go up by themselves

I want to shove one of Mev’s photos–

the one of the beautiful boy from Chiapas–

under their noses

and tell them

Wake Up! We are the Eyes of the World.

I want Arco Angels of my own

I want to have long discussions over wine and chocolate

with Mev and Mark

I want to be good

I want to be worthy

I want to live my life fully

rather than tell kids with big hopes that

they don’t

make the cut

for the American dream

Suffering can be beautiful

Why have I avoided it?

I will look at suffering in Gaza

and witness the beauty and the dignity

and the sorrow and the sadness

and I will be better for it.